Very often in life we find ourselves at a crossroads. Maybe the coming shift is crystal clear to you:
to stay in a relationship or leave, to change a career or not, to move from home, or stay.


Sometimes, however, the crossroads looks more like a maze, and you feel a
major change is needed but you aren’t sure what that even looks like. Or maybe you have some idea, but are paralyzed by the choice.

At SpiritQuest, we hear from clients all the time that they either cannot connect to their inner voice, or they hear it, but argue with it. Many people doubt their inner voice so much, it’s hard for them to make the distinction between the inner critic and the inner voice at all.

Clarity to Face the Crossroads - Healing Sedona Retreat

Healing Sedona Retreat session Clarity to Face Crossroads guides you to release your old life and begin a new life with a new purpose

If this is you, don’t worry, nothing is wrong with you. Confusion happens to everyone now and again.


The focus of so many on the topic of accessing inner truth demonstrates how amazing we all are! It shows the incredible wisdom within: we sense we know the answer. We sense it’s right there, if we could just harness it, and we are right. The answer is almost always there.

Very often when clients are at a crossroads and stuck, we find the client is disconnected from inner wisdom, and often under the pall of the inner critic:

Does this sound familiar?

I’d love to ___________ (insert dream here), BUT

That nuts
It’s odd
It isn’t possible
I don’t deserve it
I’m afraid
It would be risky
No one would understand
I’d probably fail

It’s amazing just how much we invest in our inner tract of doubt, fear, and limitations. Especially for women, going inward and finding our voice, which has been silenced for so long, is an important part of actualizing our dreams. But men are also subject to social conditioning and limiting beliefs, so the taming of the inner critic is applicable to pretty much everyone.


The confusing thing here is that run-on tape of the inner critic IS an inner voice. At least, it’s always playing in the background. So, how do we get past the run-on tape and hear our
real, authentic inner-voice, (which is ourselves minus limiting beliefs that stem from social conditioning)? Here are some methods SpiritQuest has found helpful:

1) Meditation

I know. It can be hard. The irony here is that we are asking for guidance from our SELF, but unwilling to be with ourselves for even a few minutes. So, create a pleasant, comfortable space where you know you can undisturbed for a little while. Open yourself up to the feeling, in the body, of being confused. Of being at a crossroads. What does it physically feel like to hold the confusion or question in your mind?

Does your heart ache? Can you open to this ache.

Does your throat tighten? Can you open to this tightness.

Do you feel full of butterflies? Can you open to the fluttering.

Yoga and Meditation Retreats with SpiritQuest in Sedona

Re-connect to your Spirit with Yoga and Meditation out on the Land

If the mind begins to chatter, that’s okay, just bring yourself back to the task: Can I make space to hold what’s happening now, fully? Can I embody my truth NOW? Hot tip: If you can embody your truth now, the future will be a lot easier and you will proceed with more clarity.


Mindfulness and meditation are big (exciting) topics, but I think you will find a lot of clarity with just this short, simple exercise. You might notice what the main emotions are behind the confusion or your blockage—where it’s located, or even other awesome insights. Our experience at SpiritQuest is that a little mindfulness of the body can take you to incredible places within.

Also, if you notice the inner critic’s voice while in meditation, repeat its judgement aloud. This is usually sobering because we hide from ourselves and ignore just how vicious our inner critic can be. We would NEVER speak to someone else the way we speak to ourselves behind the scene. When you make the inner tape speak out loud, it helps to let it go (because it’s so obviously toxic). Once you catch the inner critic in action once, it’s easier to catch it all the time.

2) Journaling

If I could do anything I’d…
It’d be amazing if….
Thriving means…
Health means….

Let yourself dream! Go crazy. Maybe put on your favorite song and dance first: anything to get you in the spirit of freedom. Just let it flow. As you dream, your inner critic will flair up with doubt, fear, anger, tiredness, etc. Make a place in your journal to write down any commentary you hear from your inner critic. Also, make a page, if necessary, for ideas/inner commentary you are unsure about (is this inner critic or self?)


Your mindfulness practice should help you being to distinguish critic from your authentic self. However, if you are still unsure, try closing your eyes and saying the statement
aloud and feel, in your body, how it hits you and where.

Here is a tip. You may not be able to silence the inner critic. It’s there for a reason (i.e., to keep us safe, from doing stupid stuff). We should, ultimately, (after we give it good talking to, and creating some firm boundaries,) love our inner critic. Because love and acceptance is a good policy, that puts us at ease with all parts of ourselves, even those parts we want to change.

3) Get Outside

man relaxes sedona

Get outside if you can. Hike, look up at the clouds, make time to look at leaves, ants, places you routinely pass by without really seeing. Look INTO the world around you. Nature has a way of helping us connect to the feminine side of creative energy: the abundance of nature and her forms are limitless. Gratitude, beauty, and exercise lift our spirits and help us see what’s possible. Do something new outdoors, when you have the space and inspiration, which of the ideas from your crossroads stick? Which still have energy and inspire?


4) The Paper Slip test

If you still are at the crossroads, by now, you’ve probably honed in a little on the core of the issue. Put all your ideas on separate slips of paper and put them in a jar. Close your eyes, draw, read the slip, and notice your reaction. Does the idea make you feel like a bird in flight, or heavy? Does the option hit you as right or true? Do you feel inspired?


What is it to feel inspired
in your body? All that meditation should have helped you hone your ability to sense and connect to subtle energy, to refine your intuition.

Still Stuck?

If, after all these exercises, you still remain in doubt, put all the best options and ideas from the paper slip test back into the jar. Light some sage, say a prayer, meditate, play some epic opera, whatever gets you centered… and draw from the jar.

What would life be like if you acted on what you drew? Sometimes, we need to simply fail or be wrong to know what’s right. Sometimes, the inner voice is simply telling you to act! It isn’t always in the WHAT of what we do but the HOW.

If you remain confused after significant inner work, this could be a clue that you need to practice the HOW of living. So make peace with potential “failure.” Dive in, and allow yourself to live without the inner critic; allow yourself to fail with grace. Take a risk, take a chance. Experiment with being happy even in less-than-ideal circumstances. Can you make a tedious chore joyful? Can you be of service in some small way today with a light heart? Can you smile inside even when something isn’t going “perfect”? Can you let yourself be wrong and not indulge the inner critic?

Sometimes we must be wrong to find what’s right.


SpiritQuest offers a variety of healing retreats, that can help you hold sacred space for life’s tough choices. We have a specific session to address the Crossroads, so call 928-282-2509 to ask our staff about this session!

We look forward to hearing from you!