Do you look in the mirror and dislike the person you see staring back at you? Are you ashamed and embarrassed in public settings? Do you feel like no one sees you and your opinion has no impact on those around you? Self-esteem and self-worth are difficult topics for some people. Generally, it is a difficult topic due to the fact that it is, in essence, the way you identify who you are. If the essence of who you are is damaged, this can cause major issues with the way you interact in the world. Self-esteem is damaged from hurts or past wounds and is healed over time. Self-esteem is very important and especially fragile for many. It is critical to focus on this topic in order to heal and grow.
Poor self-esteem affects the way you see, treat, and value yourself. A poor self-image is destructive to relationships, as well. Consequently, a person with low self-esteem will attract people who see them the same way that they see themselves. This causes a vicious cycle of dysfunction. You feel poorly about yourself, thus this person treats you poorly. Accordingly, this results in you believing you are not worthy. The reality is that you are a divine, perfect being. Therefore, you are deserving, capable, and brilliant. Anything less than that is not real. It is the ego, or “shadow side” still holding onto past stories and programming. We know that it is possible to break free from the toxic mold or mask that many have been wearing. Let go of the story, and clear out old baggage, so that you can properly see and feel who you truly are.
1- Heal Your Inner Child
Chiefly, it is important to go all the way to when you were little and impressionable. Go back to when the first ideas of who you were started to become adopted by you. Try to work out any falsities and try to heal any deep wounds that get in the way of you truly getting to know that little child. Indeed, once you have made amends to that child, you can start to treat yourself and see yourself as that kind, bright, sweet, capable, brilliant child. Thus, you remember your true essence, and not the story that entangled it, moreover distorting it.
2- Live in Your Integrity
Self-esteem and self-worth are built by doing good deeds. Equally, good deeds and integrity are critical to the development of self-worth. This is a major factor when building a positive self-image because you know deep inside that you are a good person. Henceforth, when you close your eyes at night, your conscience is clear, and you are proud of who you are. You know you are doing your best, people can trust you, and you are authentic. No matter what you may have done in your past, you are redeemable and can be forgiven.
3- Lighten Up and Have Fun
Laughter is a great way to release and lighten things up. Laughter brings a reprieve from the darkness and pain. Find an activity that makes you smile and giggle such as drawing, crafts, playing at the park, dancing, singing, or horseback riding. Eventually, you learn to invest small amounts of time to pleasure and it will pay off dividends in the future.
4- Take Time for Yourself Each Day
Take salt baths and massage yourself with yummy lotions. Massage your feet, neck, and scalp. Spread love to your body and thank it for all that it does for you. You are your own beloved. Touching, cleaning, and massaging your body is a kind and healthy thing! Nurture yourself and foster self-love. Take time for yourself each day. Determine what activities you love and give yourself time to participate is those activities.
5- Eat a Healthy Diet & Incorporate Movement
Make an investment in healthy eating and movement. Sometimes just getting up and moving will release painful emotions. Eating a rainbow of color and nutrition is vital to feeling your best. Honor your body, mind, and spirit with healthy colorful foods. Moreover, moving your body is critical for working through the pain. Even a short walk each day can have a major impact on your health. Watch your self-esteem and self-love improve.
6- Avoid Body-Shaming
Remember that you are much more than a number on a scale. Overall, try to see your inner self, and work on developing your inner beauty. Imagine yourself inside out. Spend as much time positively reinforcing the inner image, as you might spend worrying about your outer image. Your body will age and your looks will always change, the one thing you have within your control is your heart and impact on others.
7- Say NO to Shame and Guilt
Forgive yourself and let go of the past. Start bringing in some positive forgiveness-based affirmations each day. We all have done things that we are not proud of. We all have made big mistakes. However, it is important to allow those mistakes to be lessons. Furthermore, do not allow your past to continue controlling your future. Forgive yourself and others. Let go of harboring resentments and remember this is a new day and you are making changes. Some examples of affirmation are: “I forgive myself and others. I am open to change and am choosing love at this moment. I am beautiful, capable, and free of my past. I have faith in my abilities.” Your self-esteem can’t improve if you are shaming. Learn to let go.
8- Set Healthy Boundaries
Cut cords with any person or memory that makes you feel ugly, less-than, used, or unwanted. This is a new chapter where you only allow positive and supportive people into your life bubble. Specifically, protect your heart and energy. Remember that you are sensitive and intuitive. You are doing healing work on yourself, thus you need to be careful of who you allow into your life. Be very careful with opening yourself up intimately with a person that you just met. Protect your mind, body, and spirit, like the temple that you are.
9- Keep a Gratitude Journal
Remaining grateful is a great way to stay in the present moment and remember your many blessings. Reflect on all the amazing things and people you have in your life. Especially when you are feeling down, listing the things that are blessings can pull you out of that feeling. Even remembering to be grateful for nature, the trees, the air that we breathe, the abundance we have, the shoes on our feet, and your ability to even read and see this article can be impactful.
10- Spend Time with Those Who Love and Support You
Finally, spend time with those who spread joy and inspiration into you. Surround yourself with positive people and influences. Connecting to integral, happy, loving people is very healing. Isolation can be very destructive. Allow others into your life so that you can see the impact that you have on them. Call friends and go out on hikes with positive family members. Play with your nieces and nephews. Show up for others in your life. This will also assist you with building your personal empowerment.