Do you need to change your attitude? How does your world look to you? Is the world a beautiful sacred place? Is your reality one of love and support? Would you gauge your relationship as happy and peaceful? Are you filled with extreme gratitude? Your answers to these questions will determine your own happiness. That’s right, you have a choice to determine your own happiness and actually, no one can do it but you.
Some people move through their lives with dirty or tainted glasses. They never realize that what they perceive as reality is only a reflection of their own perspective. You have a choice of which glasses to wear. It’s all about the motivation to change your attitude. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” We have all seen those people who overcame great adversity and remain full of gratitude and love. They exude positivity. What’s different about them is nothing more than their determination. These people are committed to happiness. They are determined to forgive, let go, and stay in appreciation of the present moment.
Nothing can impact your relationship more than positivity and graciousness. That’s why it’s important to dive deep and clear out the “cobwebs” of past trauma. When you create a story of our past instead of letting it go, you bring that unhealthy dynamic into the relationship. It’s hard enough working on moving forward with a partner, but when you complicate matters with negativity, insecurity, distrust, and fear, it becomes very challenging to have a healthy positive partnership.
The Impact of Loss and Grief
We all suffer loss. It’s part of the human condition. But instead of focusing on the emptiness, we can turn to the fullness of creativity and new connection. Not to say there will not be a season of grieving. This is a known process and must be endured. Processing loss is an essential part of healing. It’s imperative that you find a place and time to quiet yourself and allow yourself to heal. This is honoring yourself on the deepest levels. The greatest realization is that through loss we become stronger, better, and more empathetic. It is tragic if instead, you allow the loss to result in resentment, fear, shutting down, and avoidance of intimacy. The last thing you want is for one loss to lead to another simply because you did not have the skills to cope.
Once the season of loss has passed, it’s time to awaken once again and find the new sun. “It’s a new day, it’s a new way.” You can reinvent yourself. You can change your attitude. There is so much to give and those around you are waiting to see you again. Those who have never met you are waiting to meet you for the first time. Becoming whole again after you have lost so much is possible with a little assistance. Here is where finding your own voice becomes so very valuable.
Fear Destroys Positive Attitude
Fear arises from the ego. The ego is constantly evaluating what happened, why it happened, who is to blame, and how it might impact the future. This dynamic is very helpful if you actually need protection moving forward. For example, if you touch a hot stove, the ego tells you that fires are dangerous and that a healthy fear when approaching them is wise. Your next encounter with a hot stove will raise some degree of fear or caution. However, when it comes to emotional matters of the heart, this process can be very destructive.
Forgiveness and letting go allow us to not be stuck in the pattern of fear due to our pasts. But if we are not aware of ourselves or the process we may never rise above the “story” and the fear will return again and again. You must change your attitude by letting go of the paralyzing fear so you can move forward.
Healing Starts with Self
It is important that each and every person take responsibility for themselves. Can you really change your attitude? The answer is a resounding yes! Strive for an attitude of gratitude. Learn to view your cup as half full rather than half empty. To facilitate this, seek concrete methods for shifting perspectives. This is the first step. Once you are “right with yourself” you can begin to work on the partnership. But how do you gain alignment? The key to the answer to this question is awareness. Before all else, you must know yourself and take inventory of the right action. You must commit to living with integrity, honesty, compassion, and without fear.
How sensitive are you to the words that come out of your mouth? Every word you utter says something about you. Are you seeing through tainted glasses? Is your world dark and dismal? Do you feel empty and alone? Does your life lack creativity? When was the last time you turned on the music and danced? How about lighting candles all over your home or sitting in the Jacuzzi under the full moon? Ask yourself, if you blame others. Are you angry inside? Do you feel the need to prove yourself? Are others put down in order to puff yourself up? Only you can honestly answer these questions…and only you know if it’s time to get a nice cleaning cloth and make those glasses sparkle.
Turn on your deepest determination NOT to be a victim. Create something, hike somewhere, paint a painting, cook a fabulous meal, plant a garden, write a poem, start a business, play an instrument, take dancing lessons, and go on a couples retreat. You’re never too old and it’s never too late. There must be a determination to let the process of life happen and not to take it too personally. You can move on! Become a better version of yourself. The time is now to seize the day and discover the joy that is waiting for you.
How To Shine by Changing Your Attitude
Shining comes from deep contentment. It was once said that it’s not so much about what happens to you but how you deal with it. We are the ultimate masters of our destiny. Our relationships are only as healthy as we make them. When we are constantly judging ourselves and bringing negativity to each situation, chances are that we do the same thing in our relationship. Our partners may feel they are “walking on eggshells.” In other words, you may feel that you can never do anything right.
To shine is to let go of limiting beliefs and to believe you are worthy. Find your sparkle, it’s a full surrender to the situation and the moment: learning to let go of control and live life to the fullest in the present. It’s about asking yourself, “At this time in my life, what do I love? What do I enjoy?” When you discover the answer to that question, the next step is to do it. Yes, DO what you love.
That may sound very simplistic but the world is full of people who either have no clue what they love or live their lives doing what they have to do and hoping that one day they will be able to finally do what they love. Instead, Do it Now and then share it with those around you. Share it with the world. Believe that what you have to offer is good enough. In fact, it’s fabulous! You’re fabulous.
Acceptance of the NOW
The present moment is all that we have. When we show up for each other, hold space, and remain attentive, we are in alignment with each other. We are actually honoring ourselves and our partners at that moment. The past carves us and creates the person we are today. By leaving the baggage behind, you can contribute to your relationships in a whole, rich, and healed way. It’s your choice. Learn to change your attitude today!
As Owner and Guide, Katherine has devoted her life to facilitating the Spiritual growth of others. Her studies have taken her all around the world from India to Tibet. Katherine's extensive background in coaching for life skills, healthy living, color therapy, energy work and more gives her insights to help others come to a greater realization of who they are.