Navigating Loss & Finding Healing From Within

Grief is not an illness to be cured, but as a universal human experience of love and loss.

The loss of a loved one causes a non-linear process of rebuilding and re-discovering the parts of ourselves that were deeply impacted, indeed, some may go so far as to say “died” the day of the loss.

The grief process cannot be rushed or bypassed. It is something we have to move through rather than go around. If met with self-compassion, and somatic release, there is a path to deep inner healing.

Grief is more than bereavement over someone’s passing, it encompasses any loss such as the end of a relationship, the loss of health, or even the fading of the future we anticipated.

The Mind/Body Connection of Grief

When we are suddenly facing a shift in our lives due to a loss, we feel it to the depths of the soul, the result is an imprint on our nervous system, physical exhaustion, and tension in our being.

Shedding the Cultural Myth

While society may simply say, “stay strong” or “get over it and move on” grieving is a vital part of honoring what it is that mattered most to us.

The Stages and Waves of Grief

Healing from loss is non-linear in that is comes in waves rather than steps. The process of grief is unpredictable, with some days providing peace and acceptance to then unexpectedly be followed by a deep way of remembrance and pain.

Some people express an initial shock or phase of numbness. This makes sense as the psyche will try to protect itself in the immediate aftermath. Then comes the immersion phase where we accept that the only way is to move through the pain. We begin to dive deep into the raw emotions that arise, such as anger, sadness, longing, and emptiness.

The next phase is the integration phase where we slowly learn to carry loss forward rather than leaving it behind. In other words, we rebuild and accept. (Yet the loss is always with us.) In this phase we begin focusing on celebrating the memories and embracing the gratitude of having had that person in our lives, or having had the health or experience.

Resolving to Resurrect

A Poem About Grieving

The beating heart sounds the drum of the living.
Every undulation is a new wave for life. A throb pounds in my chest.
Racing wildly when nervous. Barely stirring while sleeping. Pounding deliberately while dancing.
Then when my grief waves over me, LOSS pulls my pain into the deep abyss of Payne’s grey and my heart becomes a ghost: hollow, an apparition, a nebulous image.
I am foolish enough to think I can will it to STOP!
My pain falls in on itself like a black hole.
A gravitational pull so intense no matter can escape it.
I allow myself to follow: my bones vanishing, my form wilting into black vapor. Collapsing upon myself, becoming two-dimensional, the vacuum stealing my breath. Undefined. A shadow. Nothingness.
And in that nothingness, I feel the embodiment of your being. Is existence possible without you?
We shared a heart rhythm: the light in the corner of your eyes, the sunlight ablaze on your perfect face, the quirky smile. Your smell. The movement of your mouth when you laugh.
When your eyes opened to mine, for a brief moment I thought I saw myself. In that instant, you were beautiful, magnificent. And so was I. Thank you for the gift.
I thought losing you was a matter of enduring time, but the enduring consumed ALL time….
And time gave way to evolution.
Without you, I will never be the same. Emerging from the bleak, forsaken, apocalypse of your departure, I feel the sun hit my face and know that if I’m to go on, it will be a resurrection.
I will become something different. Freeing myself from myself.
I fight to rise into the radiance of life, and the undulating heartbeat pounds.
The wind invites my hair to dance. I can do it, Dear, and I WILL do it. I will live for Me.
Because of You