Have you had failed relationships? Are you able to see a pattern with any of your past relationships? For example, I can never trust my partners, they always leave, they always cheat, they always make me feel like my feelings don’t matter, they are emotionally unavailable, etc.
A poor partner can look many ways. It is important to identify what was toxic so you can be on a better lookout for the future. Toxic qualities can include:
- Invalidates your feelings
- Is not present with you and does not listen
- Is not honest and lies about small or large things
- Won’t show you love, affection, or clarity on the relationship and plays games
- They say mean, hurtful, insensitive, or rude things just to hurt you
- They are emotionally abusive or defensive
- They are not trustworthy and have dysfunction in the intimate areas (porn, etc.)
- They never take responsibility and they gaslight you, and make you question your own reality
Using the Dysfunction to Aid Growth & Introspection
These are important components to look at for the purpose of growth and self-inquiry. It is important to get out of the pain and stories and get to a place where you can use your past relationships and experiences to heal and pivot you further along your Spiritual journey.
Whether you are wanting to attract healthy, great people into your life and future, or if you are just wanting to be at peace and improve the relationship you have with yourself, this practice will assist you with just that.
Here are four ways you can stop attracting toxic people into your life:
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Look Into Your Childhood & Past (Inner Child Healing)
Examine your childhood and past to see where you got hurt the most. Childhood is a perfect place to see where your core wounds, stories, and trauma stems. Look to see what feelings were present. Did you feel abandoned, unsafe, unseen, unwanted, unlovable? Tap into your inner child to see if you have a validation wound, abandonment/neglect wound, acceptance wound, trust wound, or quilt/shame wound? This will shape the way you see and relate to yourself and others. Once you have identified your core wounding, you can heal this, and work to validate and see/love yourself with more depth. Healing your inner child will give you the foundation to self soothe and “parent” yourself, with better self-management tools and emotional intelligence.
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Understand that You Attract What You Are
I know this can be a difficult topic for some to grasp. But it is actually very powerful when you can see that you will always attract what you are inside. We are spiritual souls that have come to this Earth for a Divine reason. We are given important unique experiences, wounds, and challenges, so that we heal and conquer and grasp the lesson. The lessons we learn are vital for the growth and evolution of the human experience. Your soul needs to heal and use your past as a tool to further your growth and assist mankind (known as your purpose).
You will attract the people into your life that will affirm and continue the lesson, if you have not healed and cleared it. For example, if you have a childhood abandonment wound, and never got emotional validation that you needed, this will cause wounding. If you have not healed this, your trauma will attract another person that will carry similarities to your past, to get you to see the dysfunction and heal. This will look like an emotionally unavailable partner, who leaves and ignores you.
You may think, why is this world so cruel? It is not about cruelty and pain, it is about growth, and unfortunately, we only truly grow and transform through the hard stuff. Once we realize this, we become empowered.
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Understand and Nurture Your Needs
Understanding and nurturing your needs will be vital when it comes to attracting healthy people in your life. As we mentioned earlier, you will keep attracting the dysfunction until you cleanse and clear that, so taking care of your needs will help you to attract people who see, hear, validate, acknowledge and accept you. You will provide safety and trust for yourself, so you will attract a person whom you feel safe with and can trust. Some core needs can look like:
- To See -To see, recognize and acknowledge one’s self
- To Hear – To listen deeply to your inner voice & guidance
- To be Safe – To create safety in and around your own being, to trust and protect yourself
- To Be Wanted – To love and long for your own authentic essence – to feel wanted
- To Feel Accepted – To accept your self and have a sense of belonging
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Set and Establish Firm Boundaries
Boundaries mean discernment. Boundaries mean that you have established how far you are willing to go. Boundaries are the things said and not said that will protect your energy and emotional output. Boundaries are important when it comes to not attracting poor people into your life. Established, clear boundaries will help you to identify red flags, and be ok with releasing this person from your life. Boundaries are important because the more you understand and establish your very own unique boundaries, the more another person will not try to push or exploit them.
If you do not have clear boundaries, (which are important to study and understand about the energetic, physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries) you can be taken for granted and not respected. A person may cross them, and you would not even be able to identify when this is happening. Having this established will help you with attracting healthy, spiritually fit partners.
Your Healing Means Great Relationships & A Life of Your Dreams!
These are ways you can stop the toxic pattern of attracting dysfunctional people into your life. The most important aspect is that we must do our inner work and heal before we can be a good partner. It always goes back to you, and how you heal and treat yourself.
Once you are able to take care of yourself, and you are balanced and attuned, you will be clear and able to see what good and what is bad for you.
SpiritQuest Heals Wounds
Our Healing Retreats at SpiritQuest Sedona Retreats are designed to do just that! We help a person to heal fully, so they can be conscious creators of their lives. Stop attracting unhealthy people, and start living a life with honor, and intention. You deserve to live the life of your dreams!
