Do you look in the mirror and dislike the person you see staring back at you? Do you feel shame and embarrassment in public settings? Do you feel like no one sees you and your opinion has no impact on those around you? Self-esteem and self-worth can be difficult topics for some people. It can be a difficult topic due to the fact that it is, in essence, the way we identify who we are. If the essence of who we are is damaged, this can cause major issues with the way we interact in the world. Self-esteem can be damaged from hurts or past wounds and is developed over time. Self-esteem is very important and especially fragile for some. We believe that it is critical to focus on this topic in order to heal and grow.
Poor self-esteem can affect the way you treat, see, and value yourself. A poor self-image can be very destructive to relationships as well. Many times, a person with low self-esteem will attract people who see them the same way that they see themselves. This causes a vicious cycle of dysfunction. You feel poorly about yourself, thus this person treats you poorly, and results in you believing that you are not worthy. The reality is that you are a divine, perfect, amazing being that is deserving, capable, brilliant, and stunning. Anything less than that is not real, it is the ego, or “shadow side” still holding onto past stories and programming. We believe that it is possible to break free from the toxic mold or mask that some have been wearing. Let go of the story, and clear out the old baggage, so that you can properly see/feel who you truly are. Then you can work on rebuilding your self-esteem and self-worth. This is done by developing healthy self-care techniques that we are going to discuss here:
- Inner Child Work – It is important to go all the way to when you were little and impressionable. Go back to when the first ideas of who you were started to become adopted by you. Try to work out any falsities and try to heal any deep wounds that can get in the way of you truly getting to know that little child. Once you have made amends to that child, you can start to treat yourself and see yourself as that kind, bright, sweet, capable, brilliant child. Remembering your true essence, and not the story that entangled it, thus distorting it.
- Estimable Acts & Integrity – Self-esteem and self-worth can be built by doing good deeds. Good deeds and integrity are critical to the development of self-worth. This is a major factor when building a positive self-image because you know deep inside that you are a good person. When you close your eye at night, your conscience is clear, and you are proud of who you are. You know you are doing your best, people can trust you, and you are authentic. No matter what you may have done in your past, you are redeemable and can be forgiven.
- Lighten Up and Have Fun! – Laughter is a great way to release and lighten things up. Laughter can bring a reprieve from the darkness and pain. Find an activity that makes you smile and giggle such as drawing, crafts, playing at the park, dancing, singing, or horseback riding. Learn to invest small amounts of time to pleasure and it will pay off dividends in the future.
- Hygiene Self-Care – Take salt baths and massage yourself with yummy lotions. Massage your feet, neck, and scalp. Spread love to your body and thank it for all that it does for you. You are your own beloved, and touching, cleaning, and massaging your body is a healthy thing!
- High Vibrational Diet & Daily Movement – Make an investment in healthy eating and movement. Sometimes just getting up and moving will release painful emotions. Eating a rainbow of color and nutrition is vital to feeling your best. You can honor your body, mind, and spirit with healthy colorful foods. Moving your body is critical for moving through pain. Even a short walk each day can have a major impact on one’s health.
- Watch Out for Weight & Body-Shaming – Remember that you are much more than a number on a scale. Try to see your inner self, and work on developing your inner beauty. Imagine yourself inside out and try to spend as much time as you do worrying about your outer image as you spend worrying about your inner image. Your body will age and your looks will always change, the one thing you have within your control is your heart and impact on others.
- Say NO to Shame and Guilt – Forgive yourself, let go of the past and start bringing in some positive forgiveness-based affirmations each day. We all have done things that we are not proud of. We all have made big mistakes; however, it is important to allow those mistakes to be lessons and not allow your past to continue to control your future. Forgive yourself and others, let go of harboring resentments and remember this is a new day and you are making changes. Some examples of affirmation are: “I forgive myself and others, I am open to change and am choosing love at this moment, I am beautiful, capable and am free of my past, I have faith in my abilities.”
- Boundaries are #1! – Cut cords with any person or memory that makes you feel “ugly”, less-than, used, or unwanted. This is a new chapter where you only allow the positive and supportive people into your life bubble. Protect your heart and your energy. Remember that you are sensitive and intuitive. You are doing healing work on yourself, thus need to be careful of who you allow into your life. Be very careful with opening yourself up intimately with a person that you just met. Protect your mind, body, and spirit, like the temple that you are.
- Keep a Gratitude Journal – I am sure you have heard this before but remaining grateful is a great way to stay in the present moment and remember your many blessings. Reflect on all the amazing things and people you have in your life. Especially when you are feeling down, listing the things that are blessings can pull you out of that feeling. Even remembering to be grateful for nature, the trees, the air that we breathe, the abundance we have as Americans, the shoes on our feet, your ability to even read and see this article can be impactful.
- Spend Time with those Who Support & Love You – Finally, spend time with those who spread joy and inspiration in you. Surround yourself with positive people and influences. Connecting to integral, happy, loving people is very healing. Isolation can be very destructive. Allow others into your life so that you can see the impact that you have on others. Call friends and go out on hikes with positive family members and play with your nieces and nephews. Show up for others in your life and this will also assist you with building your self-esteem.